From an email…

If you are not over 50, this is what you have to
look forward to.

• 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• 3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
• 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, ” Did I wake you?”
• 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• 7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• 8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
• 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
• 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
• 13. You sing along with elevator music.
• 14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
• 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
• 19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.